i find myself feeling hopeless....

So, I woke up this morning wondering why I had even bothered.

Yea, I've run out of my meds.

I should have seen it coming.

I can't even pay for housing, nevertheless my meds.

But whatever.

These feelings would have been there anyways, just hidden behind all of the drugs.

And now that they're out in the open,

I realize that I've been lying to myself.

Pretending that everything is alright, when honestly, everything's just been piling up on top of me.

Smothering me until I feel as if I will never be able to breathe on my own again.

And it comes to days like this, when I wish I had people that I could lean on.

Depend on.

Trust.

And all that other jazz.

But, I guess that once a person tells you that 'everuthing will be alright', they forget about your problems and go on living their lives.

And I can't fault them on that.

Because it only looks selfish in my eyes.

In the eyes of a person that honest to God gives up anything and everything to help her friends.

And maybe that's what has gotten me into this predicament now.

*shrugs*

*sighs*

I don't know anymore.

Hell, I don't even know why I'm bothering to write this.

No one is gonna read it.

But maybe that's a good thing, because I always seem to hurt people when I let my thoughts and feelings out.

-Sweet, Helpful, Efortless, Lazy, Loud, Youthful....atleast that's what I've been told can be made out of my name xD