*sighs*

so apparently i'm always wrong.

but if i say it, then you tell me to stop thinking that way....

which is essentially telling me that i'm wrong again.

and then you yell at me.

and tell me to stop complaining to you.

and i go on brb to take my meds and eat, and you have a problem with it....

but i'm supposed to be motherfucking fine when you stop talking to me in the middle of an important conversation to check your fucking myspace?

i'm supposed to stop being a BITCH so that you can get the meek little girl that kissed your ass back?

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO DROP IT, WHEN YOU BITCHED AT ME 6 HOURS AGO FOR NOT TALKING ABOUT IT, BUT NOW THAT YOU WANT TO STOP I HAVE TO FUCKING LISTEN TO YOU????

i didn't know that you were my father.

i didn't know that you were my husband...

i didn't know that your name was God!

i'm so fucking sick of your shit.

i'm sick of you.

i'm.....

i'll never forgive you for this.

and you'll never realize why.

and i'm so close to hating you that i want to cry.

but, you don't care.

and that's fine. 

since i know you'll never read this anyways...

yea >.>

so, it's been two months since my last post, and it's nearly my 20th birthday.

yay me?

psh, yea okay.

so, i'm sick.

nothing unusual, except for the unwanted hospital visits, but whatever >.<

i guess i just wanted to come here and laugh/complain blah blah blah.

where should i start first? xD

i don't even know.

i'm just tired.

and....i think i want to stop being his friend.

yea, i know, shitty thing to say, but um, are we even friends anymore?

i don't even come up on his radar.

*sighs* it's whatever as of right now i guess.

i'm not enough of an ass-kisser to be good enough to be his friend anymore, and maybe that's better than the stress.

maybe i'm just not good enough for anything